The Liberal's Creed

Published on September 16, 2004 By Patriot_Flamethrower In Politics

To Be A Good Democrat:

1. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of the Chinese Communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression, and governments creat prosperity.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who've never been outside of Seattle do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, but the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

12. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

13. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas, set-asides, and Affirmative Action are not.

14. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

15. You have to believe that conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but liars and sex offenders belong in the White House.

16. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas-time should be illegal.

17. You have to believe that a crucifix submerged in urine is art, while a crucifix in a classroom is a threat to our constitutional freedom.

18. You have to believe that "peace through strength" doesn't work, while "peace through talking" does.

19. You have to believe that being a member of the "world community" is more important than the sovereignty of the United States Of America.

20. You have to believe that the "mainstream" news media (CBS,NBC,ABC,CNN,MSNBC,NPR, New York Times, LA Times, etc.) are objective, while the Fox News Channel is just a right wing mouthpiece.

Comments

Deference

on Sep 16, 2004

Good stuff, I don't agree with some lines, specifically 18 and 12, but ,otherwise, a great list!

historyishere

on Sep 16, 2004

11. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, but the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

From ACLU Policy #47: http://www.lectlaw.com/files/con11.htm

"The ACLU agrees with the Supreme Court's long-standing interpretation of the Second Amendment [as set forth in the 1939 case, U.S. v. Miller] that the individual's right to bear arms applies only to the preservation or efficiency of a well-regulated militia. Except for lawful police and military purposes, the possession of weapons by individuals is not constitutionally protected. Therefore, there is no constitutional impediment to the regulation of firearms....

....The Due Process Committee suggested that the problem with the footnote was that it was indefensible on civil liberties grounds, and that it is not the ACLU's role to commit the ACLU to involve ourselves in social issues by finding a constitutional basis where there is none. Even though gun control is a desirable social objective, and it would be nice to find a civil liberties rationale for affirmative ACLU support of gun control legislation, the Committee noted that the ACLU has never supported particular remedies for particular crimes, and as such, we cannot support gun control legislation."

drmiler

on Sep 17, 2004

Reply #2 By: historyishere - 9/16/2004 11:48:35 PM
11. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, but the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

From ACLU Policy #47: http://www.lectlaw.com/files/con11.htm

"The ACLU agrees with the Supreme Court's long-standing interpretation of the Second Amendment [as set forth in the 1939 case, U.S. v. Miller] that the individual's right to bear arms applies only to the preservation or efficiency of a well-regulated militia.

Want to take a guess what comprises a militia? Here's the definition of militia

mi·li·tia ( P ) Pronunciation Key (m-lsh)
n.
1. An army composed of ordinary citizens rather than professional soldiers.
2. A military force that is not part of a regular army and is subject to call for service in an emergency.
3. The whole body of physically fit civilians eligible by law for military service.

In otherwords WE do !

historyishere

on Sep 17, 2004

The whole body of physically fit civilians eligible by law for military service.

Allow me to retort. Are they well-regulated militia though? Let's look at another definition:

reg·u·late ( P ) Pronunciation Key (rgy-lt)
tr.v. reg·u·lat·ed, reg·u·lat·ing, reg·u·lates
1. To control or direct according to rule, principle, or law.
2. To adjust to a particular specification or requirement: regulate temperature.
3. To adjust (a mechanism) for accurate and proper functioning.
4. To put or maintain in order: regulate one's eating habits.

By those definitions of regulate, it would seem to be constitutionally necessary in some literal interpretations of that definition to regulate the population by giving them the specifications of the arms they can and cannot use, much as you would a normal standing army.

Patriot_Flamethrower

on Sep 17, 2004

Come on now, people!!! Where are the comments on this post? Are you lefties SPEECHLESS, or are you too busy masturbating to your 8 x 10 glossy of John Kerry hugging John Edwards?

jesusstayscrunchy

on Sep 17, 2004

actually, I found this one rather humorous

cactoblasta

on Sep 17, 2004

Yep, it's true. All Democrats are stupid and hypocritical. It is only Republicans with flamethrowers that truly understand the universe and all that dwells within......

dharmagrl

on Sep 17, 2004

I loved it. Can I copy it and pass it around to my friends?

Patriot_Flamethrower

on Sep 17, 2004

Dharmagrl, I would be honored to have you pass this around to your friends! Thanks, and stay tuned for more "stuff"!

Little Whip, glad you enjoyed it!

Cactoblasta, your comment is absolutely right on! You are obviously smarter than you probably look!

messybuu

on Sep 17, 2004

Great list! And for liberals who disagree with anything it says, remember... The original document can be easily replicated in Microsoft Word, so it must an authentic document from the seventies!

This talk about the right to bear arms reminds me of something else that we mustn't forget.

The liberal has to believe that democracy is a flaw and that the power of the government should lie solely in the hands of liberal activist judges.

Patriot_Flamethrower

on Sep 17, 2004

Good point, Messy! The list is now officially revised!

21. You have to believe that democracy is a flaw and the power of government should lie solely in the hands of liberal activist judges.

Hey, 21! BLACKJACK!!

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